Hearing God

This past week we joined up with 2 other schools, the NorthEast Asia school and the Go Asia school for a week with Donna Jordan speaking.  She mainly spoke on hearing God.  Something pretty fundamental when you have a relationship with God but yet it is still hard to hear God at times.  Why is this? Well for me, this week the one thing I mainly discovered about myself is that I rarely repent of my sins! One day in class, I was actually trying to remember the last time I asked for forgiveness, even for the little things.  I couldn't remember.  I realized through the teachings and through reading the word this week that this is one main hindrance for me to hear the voice of God.  Lack of repentance. I think ultimately it has to do with my apathy...sometimes I just don't care.  I know that sounds horrible but when you aren't feeling it, it's hard to care.  I realized that this is the same as when you are in a love relationship, maybe a husband/wife scenario since I have soooo many examples of that in my life :)  Sometimes, you don't feel in love all the time, or even any feelings at all for that person.  In fact that person may drive you crazy, but you choose to love in those moments.  Usually, your emotions follow your choices.  So this past week I chose to repent for things that were buried deep and things at the surface.  All around me people were having these deep moments with God.  People were weeping all around me, and praying with one another.  After I repented though, I was soooo joyful!!! I was smiling and looking all around me so happy!!! This is when the revelation of joyful repentance came.  God is not angry, He loves me.  He loves you.  He joyfully receives me and it's His delight to bless me and forgive me. 


So that was last week.  I know it seems like I am learning more deeper about Jesus than I am medical stuff and well that's because, I am.  How can I take His healing to the nations if I myself cannot carry the heart of Jesus everywhere I go.  Mother Theresa spent 4 hours every morning before the cross.  People were telling her that she was wasting her time and there were sick children everywhere waiting for her.   Her response was that she needed to spend time remembering what Jesus did for her and why she did what she did, otherwise she couldn't go out and face the world as it is. 

                                                Some of my classmates, Hailey and Taylor

                                                Learning how to purify water using seeds


This week we are hearing a lot of different opportunities with YWAM.  The possibilities are endless.  If you are my coworker you should feel confident that I am coming home to KC to rejoin you in June :) I knew what you were thinking.  Longterm, I have a lot of dreams in how I want to serve Jesus.  I love children...I fully believe Jesus gave me a gift of compassion for the sick children, and I love serving them and their families.  I pray for the grace to continue in that in some capacity.  Let's just say I'm praying for strategies and plans for my vision to become reality.  This week is inspiring me to dream big.  God gives us desires, visions, and dreams for a reason! He wants to glorify His Son through us.  There a lot of people who took risks and because they trusted God with their vision, they stepped out in faith and God helped make the vision a reality.  I want to always walk humbly in the way Jesus leads me. 

I definitely am going to China and North Korea for my outreach.  This week God confirmed that this was the right decision in 2 ways.  I watched a documentary on North Korea because my brother Vinny an my sister Joy and about 10 other people kept telling me about this thing.  So, I prayed for the Lord to give me a heart for the nation and a heart of intercession because I honestly felt very removed from the nation's situation seeing as I am an Italian American :) As I watched the documentary, I wept.  It wasn't even at the rough parts! I just wept and thought about the pure evil and brainwashing that goes on there.  I asked God why I was worthy to go into such as place representing Him.  I was reminded of Moses as he was going into Egypt and I had this knowing that He is with me.  Then this morning Loren Cunningham randomly spoke to all the schools for an hour and he spoke on the China and Korea.  I was totally excited because I asked God to confirm where I was going.  If I am going into such a godless place I need to know I'm really supposed to go.  So I feel very confident now.  I know no matter where I go, God will use me to show His love to His people. 

                                              The sunset when I was running one evening