Saturday, February 25, 2012
Spiritual Growth and Dreams
Sorry I haven't had time to write a new post lately! Thankyou so much for reading the previous ones, lots of people told me that they were reading! I pray that what God is showing me is blessing all of you and that you are touched by Jesus' love. I pray that He fills you with a deeper revelation of His ways and a deeper knowing of His character. God is so good.
These last couple weeks I have had the privilege of having Loren Cunningham speak to our class. We were joined up with the YWAM ships DTS for a week while Loren was speaking on the future of the medical missions movement. It was a pretty crazy week. We started the week in the prayer room here praying for a ship that was given to YWAM ships. God spoke to many people the same verses and the same pictures, I love that!!! I love paying attention to what God is doing in a group of people and how He speaks. I learn to understand the ways of God more when I am paying attention to how He speaks and what He is doing corporately. Listening to Loren speak and tell different stories this week on listening to God and obeying His voice just skyrocketed my faith level and my boldness on stepping out in what He speaks to me. A few weeks ago there were a bunch of people in my school that needed money for our outreach deposits. I was really reluctant to give because I am trying to raise money myself for our outreach and I was thinking to myself, "Lord I need money myself, I don't want to give to some of these kids who maybe didn't do any support raising or just decided at the last minute to come and didn't have any funding." I know so selfish huh. I very clearly heard God tell me to give a certain amount to one person and then heard Him tell me to give another amount to another person. So I said yes to the Lord and gave. I felt joy immediately when i gave! I kind of then forgot for a couple weeks that i gave a certain amount. Then one of my friends from back home deposited the exact amount into my paypal account!!!! hahhahahhahahha I love Jesus! He is so faithful. I'm pretty sure He just wanted to see my response. I wish I had given more now :) God is so good.
Loren spoke on a bunch of stories like this. Stories of stepping out in faith on what God spoke to him. That is pretty much how YWAM started and now it sends out more missionaries than any other ministries in the world. All from listening to God and obeying. So simple but so hard at the same time, to step out in faith and go for it. I don't say all this to say we always have to "do" things for God in works but rather to share what God is highlighting in my own life right now. I am totally feeling the desire in my heart to jump in the water and do full time missions.
It is a wonderful thing to be in the place where you hear about all God is doing in the nations of the world. It's provoking me to ask God more and more where He wants me and what He wants me to do. I am falling more in love with Jesus. My perspective has shifted so much off of myself and onto the lost and onto Jesus. This may offend some but God has personally shown me that it is not so much about my fruitfullness but its all about intimacy with Jesus. Out of intimacy comes healing for the nations and fruit through Jesus working through me. So phew, it's really just all about Jesus. YWAM stresses this sooooo much, which is wonderful because really looking at bringing the gospel and healing to the lost world appears like a very large task, but if it's all about intimacy with Jesus, out of intimacy comes strategies and blueprints from heaven. It's actually on God's heart to touch the lost more than it is on our hearts, so He knows the best way.
So on another note, I lead worship for my class Friday morning. This would make some people very happy to hear since I have been harassed to do this before. I had so much fun and the Spirit of God came and totally it was awesome. YAY God!
There is a lot going on with my outreach that I cannot really put on the internet but please be in prayer for us. God is opening doors that no man can shut! But we definitely need prayer coverage to get into places and do the things we feel God wants us to do. I also am still raising funds for this portion of the trip. I need another 2500 so if God places it on your heart, you can find my paypal account on this page.
Also pray for my room. God is doing a lot of healing in a lot of people here and I have been praying and counseling a lot of girls here and I love it but I have had some sleepless nights and been getting migraine headaches a lot. Which is not completely uncommon for me but this is an area I want victory in and I believe God wants to heal me! Thankyou so much!
These last couple weeks I have had the privilege of having Loren Cunningham speak to our class. We were joined up with the YWAM ships DTS for a week while Loren was speaking on the future of the medical missions movement. It was a pretty crazy week. We started the week in the prayer room here praying for a ship that was given to YWAM ships. God spoke to many people the same verses and the same pictures, I love that!!! I love paying attention to what God is doing in a group of people and how He speaks. I learn to understand the ways of God more when I am paying attention to how He speaks and what He is doing corporately. Listening to Loren speak and tell different stories this week on listening to God and obeying His voice just skyrocketed my faith level and my boldness on stepping out in what He speaks to me. A few weeks ago there were a bunch of people in my school that needed money for our outreach deposits. I was really reluctant to give because I am trying to raise money myself for our outreach and I was thinking to myself, "Lord I need money myself, I don't want to give to some of these kids who maybe didn't do any support raising or just decided at the last minute to come and didn't have any funding." I know so selfish huh. I very clearly heard God tell me to give a certain amount to one person and then heard Him tell me to give another amount to another person. So I said yes to the Lord and gave. I felt joy immediately when i gave! I kind of then forgot for a couple weeks that i gave a certain amount. Then one of my friends from back home deposited the exact amount into my paypal account!!!! hahhahahhahahha I love Jesus! He is so faithful. I'm pretty sure He just wanted to see my response. I wish I had given more now :) God is so good.
Loren spoke on a bunch of stories like this. Stories of stepping out in faith on what God spoke to him. That is pretty much how YWAM started and now it sends out more missionaries than any other ministries in the world. All from listening to God and obeying. So simple but so hard at the same time, to step out in faith and go for it. I don't say all this to say we always have to "do" things for God in works but rather to share what God is highlighting in my own life right now. I am totally feeling the desire in my heart to jump in the water and do full time missions.
It is a wonderful thing to be in the place where you hear about all God is doing in the nations of the world. It's provoking me to ask God more and more where He wants me and what He wants me to do. I am falling more in love with Jesus. My perspective has shifted so much off of myself and onto the lost and onto Jesus. This may offend some but God has personally shown me that it is not so much about my fruitfullness but its all about intimacy with Jesus. Out of intimacy comes healing for the nations and fruit through Jesus working through me. So phew, it's really just all about Jesus. YWAM stresses this sooooo much, which is wonderful because really looking at bringing the gospel and healing to the lost world appears like a very large task, but if it's all about intimacy with Jesus, out of intimacy comes strategies and blueprints from heaven. It's actually on God's heart to touch the lost more than it is on our hearts, so He knows the best way.
So on another note, I lead worship for my class Friday morning. This would make some people very happy to hear since I have been harassed to do this before. I had so much fun and the Spirit of God came and totally it was awesome. YAY God!
There is a lot going on with my outreach that I cannot really put on the internet but please be in prayer for us. God is opening doors that no man can shut! But we definitely need prayer coverage to get into places and do the things we feel God wants us to do. I also am still raising funds for this portion of the trip. I need another 2500 so if God places it on your heart, you can find my paypal account on this page.
Also pray for my room. God is doing a lot of healing in a lot of people here and I have been praying and counseling a lot of girls here and I love it but I have had some sleepless nights and been getting migraine headaches a lot. Which is not completely uncommon for me but this is an area I want victory in and I believe God wants to heal me! Thankyou so much!
Wednesday, February 8, 2012
Hearing God
This past week we joined up with 2 other schools, the NorthEast Asia school and the Go Asia school for a week with Donna Jordan speaking. She mainly spoke on hearing God. Something pretty fundamental when you have a relationship with God but yet it is still hard to hear God at times. Why is this? Well for me, this week the one thing I mainly discovered about myself is that I rarely repent of my sins! One day in class, I was actually trying to remember the last time I asked for forgiveness, even for the little things. I couldn't remember. I realized through the teachings and through reading the word this week that this is one main hindrance for me to hear the voice of God. Lack of repentance. I think ultimately it has to do with my apathy...sometimes I just don't care. I know that sounds horrible but when you aren't feeling it, it's hard to care. I realized that this is the same as when you are in a love relationship, maybe a husband/wife scenario since I have soooo many examples of that in my life :) Sometimes, you don't feel in love all the time, or even any feelings at all for that person. In fact that person may drive you crazy, but you choose to love in those moments. Usually, your emotions follow your choices. So this past week I chose to repent for things that were buried deep and things at the surface. All around me people were having these deep moments with God. People were weeping all around me, and praying with one another. After I repented though, I was soooo joyful!!! I was smiling and looking all around me so happy!!! This is when the revelation of joyful repentance came. God is not angry, He loves me. He loves you. He joyfully receives me and it's His delight to bless me and forgive me.
So that was last week. I know it seems like I am learning more deeper about Jesus than I am medical stuff and well that's because, I am. How can I take His healing to the nations if I myself cannot carry the heart of Jesus everywhere I go. Mother Theresa spent 4 hours every morning before the cross. People were telling her that she was wasting her time and there were sick children everywhere waiting for her. Her response was that she needed to spend time remembering what Jesus did for her and why she did what she did, otherwise she couldn't go out and face the world as it is.
Some of my classmates, Hailey and Taylor
Learning how to purify water using seeds
This week we are hearing a lot of different opportunities with YWAM. The possibilities are endless. If you are my coworker you should feel confident that I am coming home to KC to rejoin you in June :) I knew what you were thinking. Longterm, I have a lot of dreams in how I want to serve Jesus. I love children...I fully believe Jesus gave me a gift of compassion for the sick children, and I love serving them and their families. I pray for the grace to continue in that in some capacity. Let's just say I'm praying for strategies and plans for my vision to become reality. This week is inspiring me to dream big. God gives us desires, visions, and dreams for a reason! He wants to glorify His Son through us. There a lot of people who took risks and because they trusted God with their vision, they stepped out in faith and God helped make the vision a reality. I want to always walk humbly in the way Jesus leads me.
I definitely am going to China and North Korea for my outreach. This week God confirmed that this was the right decision in 2 ways. I watched a documentary on North Korea because my brother Vinny an my sister Joy and about 10 other people kept telling me about this thing. So, I prayed for the Lord to give me a heart for the nation and a heart of intercession because I honestly felt very removed from the nation's situation seeing as I am an Italian American :) As I watched the documentary, I wept. It wasn't even at the rough parts! I just wept and thought about the pure evil and brainwashing that goes on there. I asked God why I was worthy to go into such as place representing Him. I was reminded of Moses as he was going into Egypt and I had this knowing that He is with me. Then this morning Loren Cunningham randomly spoke to all the schools for an hour and he spoke on the China and Korea. I was totally excited because I asked God to confirm where I was going. If I am going into such a godless place I need to know I'm really supposed to go. So I feel very confident now. I know no matter where I go, God will use me to show His love to His people.
The sunset when I was running one evening
So that was last week. I know it seems like I am learning more deeper about Jesus than I am medical stuff and well that's because, I am. How can I take His healing to the nations if I myself cannot carry the heart of Jesus everywhere I go. Mother Theresa spent 4 hours every morning before the cross. People were telling her that she was wasting her time and there were sick children everywhere waiting for her. Her response was that she needed to spend time remembering what Jesus did for her and why she did what she did, otherwise she couldn't go out and face the world as it is.
Some of my classmates, Hailey and Taylor
This week we are hearing a lot of different opportunities with YWAM. The possibilities are endless. If you are my coworker you should feel confident that I am coming home to KC to rejoin you in June :) I knew what you were thinking. Longterm, I have a lot of dreams in how I want to serve Jesus. I love children...I fully believe Jesus gave me a gift of compassion for the sick children, and I love serving them and their families. I pray for the grace to continue in that in some capacity. Let's just say I'm praying for strategies and plans for my vision to become reality. This week is inspiring me to dream big. God gives us desires, visions, and dreams for a reason! He wants to glorify His Son through us. There a lot of people who took risks and because they trusted God with their vision, they stepped out in faith and God helped make the vision a reality. I want to always walk humbly in the way Jesus leads me.
I definitely am going to China and North Korea for my outreach. This week God confirmed that this was the right decision in 2 ways. I watched a documentary on North Korea because my brother Vinny an my sister Joy and about 10 other people kept telling me about this thing. So, I prayed for the Lord to give me a heart for the nation and a heart of intercession because I honestly felt very removed from the nation's situation seeing as I am an Italian American :) As I watched the documentary, I wept. It wasn't even at the rough parts! I just wept and thought about the pure evil and brainwashing that goes on there. I asked God why I was worthy to go into such as place representing Him. I was reminded of Moses as he was going into Egypt and I had this knowing that He is with me. Then this morning Loren Cunningham randomly spoke to all the schools for an hour and he spoke on the China and Korea. I was totally excited because I asked God to confirm where I was going. If I am going into such a godless place I need to know I'm really supposed to go. So I feel very confident now. I know no matter where I go, God will use me to show His love to His people.
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