My life and times: 2012

Tuesday, June 19, 2012

Back from Asia

Hello everyone!

It has been a long few months but I am back in Kansas City now! There is so much to share about my time in China and North Korea. I will try and summarize my time there and share with you my love for these places. For safety of the people we served, I can't put names of people or some pictures up on the internet. If you want to know more about what God is doing in Northeast China and NK, I can show you in person or email you on a protected network (VPN). After one person blogged about the underground church and NK refugee work, some of the missionaries and locals were arrested in China and imprisoned. So seeing as their lives and the work they are doing for the gospel are so important to me, I would rather protect them if that's ok.

Part of my team leaving Kona for Beijing

Our team left Kona at the end of March and headed for Beijing first. Our main reason for spending 10 days there was to get oriented for our time in NK by a man who has been there many times and has his green card. He heads to Pyongyang often and is known by the government there as "the one who never bows down" to the idol of Kim Il Sung. I was shocked by the faith and total surrender of the missionaries I met. They risk their lives to carry the love of Jesus to China and nk. If you have any idea of what is going on in nk you will know that this is true. They fear any western influence. While we were in Beijing we visited a few orphanages and underground churches. We got to pray with the believers and fellowship with them, give our testimonies, and treat them medically as best as we could. When I decided to go to China/nk I knew I wouldn't be able to do formal medical work or run clinics without getting into some trouble with the communist gov't. So we got our medicine into the country and treated people that we visited. Refugees from nk cannot go to the doctor in China or they will be sent back to their country and placed in repatriotism camps or killed, so we gave medicine and visited many that were in need of care.


The beautiful Great Wall of China


eating some Korean cuisine with my Brazilian friend Talitha

praying with some underground church members

orphanage

Chinese guards at the Forbidden City

We left Beijing for Yanji around April 7th. Yanji is a cold city more northeast than Beijing. It is about 2 hours from the border of nk and closer to Mongolia and Russia as well. This is a very strategic city in its location. Many missionaries live here and are trying to run businesses here so they can remain in China and reach nk. This community is unlike anything I have ever seen and I was so blessed by their unity with one another. They are all focusing on different businesses that will help the needy in nk and they are all for one another in support. For example, there is a trading company that gives boots to children in nk, another company that makes sanitary napkins for the women there who suffer from infections, a medical doctor who is teaching in one of the universities in nk who has had tremendous favor with the local gov't and been able to travel around their country setting up quality clinics. All of these people want to ulimately live inside nk and show the love of Christ to the people while also taking care of their needs.

Yanji, China

Border of DPRK at Tumen River

Yambien University of Science and Technology in Yanji, China


Plans to get into NK using business as a cover

Pyongyang, NK was once known as the Jeruselem of the East, they had revival in 1912

Chinese delicacies

Baekdu Mountain, border of China/NK

working at Bokchi hospital

Chinese kids in an underground church

James 2:14-17- "What does it profit, my brethren, if someone says he has faith but does not have works? Can faith save him? If a brother or sister is naked and destitute of daily food, and one of you says to them, "depart in peace, be warmed and filled," but you do not give them the things which are needed for the body, what does it profit? Thus also faith by itself, if it does not have works, is dead."

I saw this verse personified in the missionaries I met in China. They gave up their lives and comforts of the western world to live in another culture and learn the languages. They are raising their children in the knowledge of the state of the nations they are in and around. It is a reality that I knew nothing about as a child. They have no ability to parade what they are doing on the internet for support for protection. Their humility and obedience was provoking to me. I hope to one day live my life in that way of serving God. I hope to one day be a longterm missionary assimilating into another culture and fighting for others destiny in Christ. I don't believe living here in the US and working as a nurse and loving those around me is better or worse than living in another country and taking the gospel of Christ across cultural barriers, but I know my heart is most alive as I encounter the presence of God in other places and cultures and I know my destiny and calling lies in longterm missions. That is the reason I went into the medical field, to get into countries easily.

In Yanji, we visited orphanages, undergound churches, international churches, old folks homes, taught english, and visited with many missionaries to encourage and pray for them. I also worked in a local welfare hospital a few times and experienced what local nursing is like in China...which was interesting :) I taught on "Pediatric nursing and having a servants heart" in a local university's nursing school. This is the number 1 nursing school in China and the graduates receive licensing in America, Korea, and China. They teach in English and all the professors are missionaries who raise support to teach there. We also went to another hospital and met with a doctor who moved to China after coming and seeing so much need with NK refugees who have no access to health care. We got a chance to pray and prophecy over many missionaries there. AT the undergound churches we gave our testimonies, sang, and fellowshipped with believers there. These places people are sooo grateful to meet together and they go through so much to get together. The worship is so precious. The believers so loyal to word of God and so hungry to know more it. I was so struck by the difference between the American church and their churches. They don't care about programs or ministries, they just care about spreading the gospel and sending missionaries to Muslim nations. They don't care about buildings, they just find a safe place they can meet and go for it. They don't care about weird philosophy or theology, they worry about the salvation of souls and discipleship. I absolutely loved it and I believe this is more what the end time church will look like. There is so much more that I would love to share about this experience.

We left Yanji and headed on a 5 hour drive to the city of Rajin, NK. When we crossed the border, the first thing I noticed was the lack of trees on the beautiful mountains. It was very cold and the roads were in the process of being made, so much of the trip was very bumpy and on the cliffs of mountains. We drove to a port city that is open to tourism. I noticed a large tower in the middle of the city right next to our hotel. This tower shouted propaganda messages until 11pm nightly. There was also a giant screen on our hotel which was surprising to me as I was told much of NK has no electricity. Our hotel had hot water one hour a day. All our hotel rooms were bugged. We had 4 Korean agents with us 24hrs a day and their job was to minimize our contact with any local normal people. Most of the people we came into contact with were a part of the communist party. The gov't there only allows those who are most loyal and committed to their ideology to come into contact with foreigners. They don't want any of their people to become "westernized" in any way. At first I was very intimidated by this, but after a few days I really grew to love the North Korean people and even our agents. We got really close to them and at the end, they had tears in their eyes as we left and told us, "we didn't know you had such sweet souls." While we were there we went to a kindergarden performance, a foreign language school, the marketplace, a goat farm, and more. I am very aware that our country is hated by them. They are taught from birth that we are the Imperialist country. I also know that we did a lot to them in the Korean War and we are also taught that they are the "axis of evil." I have found that many horrible things happen there. There are also beautiful, untouched people there. They opened their hearts to us and received us. I left their country and spent the next few days crying at different times thinking about how these agents bring so many foreigners to the border and they can't ever leave their own country. I loved my time there especially at the goat farm. Our team had such unity there and we saw that God has not forsaken Korea, and His heart is for their reunification as well. Just as His heart for us is to be unified with Him through His spirit. There is much more to also share about this place. I feel privileged to have been able to go and share the love of Jesus with this untouched people group. I will share some pictures from here as well for you to see what DPRK (Democratic People's Republic of Korea) is like.

Kindergarten performance

The children tried to not make eye contact with us and we were not to touch them

Speaking English to the Foreign Language School students

Foreign Language School

Worshipping Jesus at the goat farmers house

Goat farm

Playing piano and worshipping at the goat farmers house

freeeeeezing!

Sambon Harbor with 2 of our DPRK agents (2nd to the right and female in the blue coat)

view of Rajin from mountain

We then spent a few days in Seoul, South Korea. We visited the DMZ (De-Militarized Zone). This area is the most heavily guarded border in the world. It is located between North and South Korea, also known as the 38th parallel. There are 1 million land mines in place here that the US gov't put in place to protect the South from invasion. We saw many Koreans here placing their ribbons of reunification on the wall there and I saw some crying, as I am sure they have family there they have not seen in a long time. The South has a bell present there that they will ring when the two countries are unified again. They long for this...as I am sure we would if our country was torn in two and we had family on one side that we had not seen in a very long time. I was very sad to see this place.

Leaving Yanji, China

Re-Unification Bell at the DMZ in South Korea.

Freedom Bridge that connects North and South Korea, it was rebuilt in 1953 to exchange POW's

Ribbons placed on the wall for those family members still in the North

First Bible translated into Korean before the Korean War

Missionary Nurse to Korea in the 1800's

Blessed are the dead who die in the Lord

Missionary children who died in Korea

We also visited the missionaries gavesites who came to Korea long ago. Most of them were Americans and they had all died there and some even were beheaded. My heart was stirred by seeing missionaries and their children's gravesites who had given their lives to bring the gospel to an unknown people group. I realized that this is what I want to spend my life on. To know God and make Him known in all the nations, wherever He places me. I believe He is calling me into full time missions. I loved being with YWAM so much and loved the culture of sending out missionaries all over the world as one body. I am back home in KC praying and seeking God on when and where to go into full time missions. My heart was most alive and I was most happy serving God in this way. This is what I was created for. I know I have a gift for other cultures and languages. I fell in love with the Korean people, their language, and even the food :) I want to use this and my nursing giftings to go into all the world and preach the good news.

Mark 16:15-"..Go into all the world and preach the gospel to all creation."

Thanks for reading, sorry it took so long to write a blog, china blocks facebook and blogging websites so I had no access to this. I will write another blog shortly on my time overall in Kona and the things God showed me and did in me as well. Thanks so much for your support and prayers. Going to North Korea was a scary risk for me and I knew there was a possibility of not making it out but God is faithful and He wanted to show me all He is doing in that country and how much He loves it. They really need christians to try and move there and start businesses that their government can't say no to. Please join me in continuing to pray for this country. My heart has so expanded to this people group, I hope to go back soon, or go back more longterm. :)

Wednesday, March 28, 2012

Leaving Kona

Our team leaves on Sunday. I'm really excited and feel ready to leave Kona. I will definitely miss this warm sunny weather though. :( At this point in DTS, I am feeling so full and ready to go out on outreach. All my roomates are leaving today for Haiti and the Philippines so this has been a sad week saying goodbye to everyone as they leave for the nations. I love this culture of everyone preparing to go out to the nations, like an army. I said goodbye to friends leaving for Ghana, Mozambique, Cambodia, South Africa, Israel, and India so far. It will be so encouraging to know that while I am on the mission field, my friends are co-laboring in other nations along with me.

I am so happy for the time I have gotten here in Kona. The training and discipleship and speakers have been really good for me. I have definitely been dwelling on how much the Holy Spirit loves unity. Unity in the church, unity in the christians around the world, unity on our team, and unity with me. We as a team are praying a lot for unity. I really believe satan hates a unified spirit. He likes to work in conflict and dis-unify the church and teams. Please keep my team in your prayers that we would be unified, like family, moving in one mind, one vision, one heart as humble servants unto Christ.

Thankyou for your prayers. I won't be communicating while outside of the US for safety purposes. I want to keep our contacts and the places we go safe, so I will probably not write any more blogs until I return to Kona. There is a lot going on that I cannot say online at this point, but please pray for our safety and that we would hear the voice of God very clearly. Thankyou, and bless you!

Marianna

Sunday, March 18, 2012

Learning chinese

At the City of Refuge

Bryce Anderson leading Worship in the Ohana Court

Me and my 8 roomates at the crater of the volcano at south end of the Island

Akaka Falls on the Hilo side of the Island

Praying for Lou Engle and family after he spoke to us

These past two weeks had their fair share of ups and downs. This past week I had this crazy stomach flu that is passing around campus. So I didn't get a chance to do much which was a bummer but in a way if I'm gonna get this bug I'm glad I got it now instead of when I am about to leave the country. The week before we had a speaker from Bethel Church in Redding, CA. He so inspired me to step out in boldness and pray for others. He told many testimonies of people getting healed and it got me excited to pray for sick people.

I have been thinking a lot of what God wants to do in our outreach team. As I prepare to be in another country for 2 months, I am really sobered about what is going on in these places and I am taking time to pray and seek God for wisdom and clear thinking while I am there. I'm excited about my team, it is mostly women and precious people. I am praying for us to have unity which is a big weapon against darkness. I can't wait to serve and love people. I want to put so much more on here but I can't for safety. Please pray for us as there is a lot going on and pray that I would be totally clear minded and hear the voice of God clearly.

God is so good and faithful. He loves us so well. I am feeling so much delight from God. I lead worship again for class this past friday and just was reminded of how Jesus paid it all by dying on the cross for me and all of us. I was brought to tears as I sang the hymn:

In Christ alone my hope is found
He is my light, my strength, my song
This Cornerstone, this solid ground
Firm through the fiercest drought and storm

What heights of love, what depths of peace
When fears are stilled, when strivings cease
My Comforter, my All in All
Here in the love of Christ I stand

In Christ alone, who took on flesh
Fullness of God in helpless Babe
This gift of love and righteousness
Scorned by the ones He came to save

Til on that cross as Jesus died
The wrath of God was satisfied
For every sin on Him was laid
Here in the death of Christ I live

There in the ground His body lay
Light of the world by darkness slain
Then bursting forth in glorious Day
Up from the grave He rose again

And as He stands in victory
Sin's curse has lost its grip on me
For I am His and He is mine
Bought with the precious blood of Christ

No guilt in life, no fear in death
This is the power of Christ in me
From a life's first cry to final breath
Jesus commands my destiny

No power of hell, no scheme of man
Could ever pluck me from His hand
Til He returns or calls me home
Here in the power of Christ I stand

I just love that song. I pray that God touches you with the truth of the cross today. That you would know the breadth, the length, the height, and the depth of God's love for you.

Saturday, March 3, 2012

Week 8

The time here is going by wayyyyy too fast!!! This past week we were joined together with the YWAM medical associates. We prayed one of the days about what God wants to do with the medical DTS in the future and what it looks like right now. I love hearing what God speaks to people and when people hear the same thing is so cool. I truly believe God is raising up the christian medical personelle to bring healing to the whole person throughout the nations. I'm excited to be in that circle, although I hope that more young people catch the vision for this.

Since I had no clue I would be going to a cold climate, I did not bring cold weather clothing. Thank God there is a lot of people here. I got a few items from others that will be essential for my outreach trip. We are preparing to leave the country and meeting with our outreach teams a lot. I'm feeling pretty bittersweet about this since it means leaving friendships I have made and grown close to these past 2 months. It's so fun to prepare with a team to go out to the mission field. It's like an army preparing for war. The whole campus here is preparing to leave for different countries all over the world. Just in my room alone girls are preparing to go to Haiti, Philippines, Israel, and South Africa. I love other countries, peoples, and cultures. I wish I could go everywhere and tell people how much Jesus loves them and care for the sick....one day perhaps :)

Please keep my outreach team in your prayers as we are going into 2 pretty intense countries that are not open to the gospel. Thankfully as medical workers, we can interact with people. We are praying for more opportunities to have medical clinics or go into the hospitals in these countries so we can interact more with people. I know for sure we are going to orphanages which is my favorite thing ever!!! So I'm definitely bringing a soccer ball for this crew. I have gone to two other countries bringing a soccer ball and it is an easy way to play and then tell kids about Jesus and run medical checkups and teaching with kids. So I'm pretty sure I'll be in charge of this aspect of our trip. I have also somehow become the team worship leader, not sure how that happened.

There is a lot to figure out and prepare for these next few weeks prior to leaving. We are so lucky here in America. It's a challenge to think about how to talk to people carefully and making sure the people you talk to are not bad. Listening to the voice of God will never be so key to me as it will in this season of my life. It's not just for leisure, its my life. I'm confident God will go before me and come after me and I will hear Him clearly and step out in faith. I'm reminded of how bold my dad always was to share the love of Jesus with others. He lived his life in light of eternity and wanted others to have the same hope he had. I hope one day to be on the mission field with my family together...hint hint siblings :) It's our inheritance!

Thankyou for your prayers and support, I feel privileged to serve God in this way. I feel like all the training and love I have received from God and others has prepared me for this time in my life. I feel so at rest also knowing that this is exactly the place I am supposed to be right now. I pray God blesses your day!

Saturday, February 25, 2012

Loren Cunningham speaking on the future YWAM Kona campus

Loren speaking to Medical DTS and YWAM Ships DTS

Friends Lindy and Carleigh

Donghoon, the leader of my outreach trip during one of our prayer meetings

Spiritual Growth and Dreams

Sorry I haven't had time to write a new post lately! Thankyou so much for reading the previous ones, lots of people told me that they were reading! I pray that what God is showing me is blessing all of you and that you are touched by Jesus' love. I pray that He fills you with a deeper revelation of His ways and a deeper knowing of His character. God is so good.

These last couple weeks I have had the privilege of having Loren Cunningham speak to our class. We were joined up with the YWAM ships DTS for a week while Loren was speaking on the future of the medical missions movement. It was a pretty crazy week. We started the week in the prayer room here praying for a ship that was given to YWAM ships. God spoke to many people the same verses and the same pictures, I love that!!! I love paying attention to what God is doing in a group of people and how He speaks. I learn to understand the ways of God more when I am paying attention to how He speaks and what He is doing corporately. Listening to Loren speak and tell different stories this week on listening to God and obeying His voice just skyrocketed my faith level and my boldness on stepping out in what He speaks to me. A few weeks ago there were a bunch of people in my school that needed money for our outreach deposits. I was really reluctant to give because I am trying to raise money myself for our outreach and I was thinking to myself, "Lord I need money myself, I don't want to give to some of these kids who maybe didn't do any support raising or just decided at the last minute to come and didn't have any funding." I know so selfish huh. I very clearly heard God tell me to give a certain amount to one person and then heard Him tell me to give another amount to another person. So I said yes to the Lord and gave. I felt joy immediately when i gave! I kind of then forgot for a couple weeks that i gave a certain amount. Then one of my friends from back home deposited the exact amount into my paypal account!!!! hahhahahhahahha I love Jesus! He is so faithful. I'm pretty sure He just wanted to see my response. I wish I had given more now :) God is so good.

Loren spoke on a bunch of stories like this. Stories of stepping out in faith on what God spoke to him. That is pretty much how YWAM started and now it sends out more missionaries than any other ministries in the world. All from listening to God and obeying. So simple but so hard at the same time, to step out in faith and go for it. I don't say all this to say we always have to "do" things for God in works but rather to share what God is highlighting in my own life right now. I am totally feeling the desire in my heart to jump in the water and do full time missions.

It is a wonderful thing to be in the place where you hear about all God is doing in the nations of the world. It's provoking me to ask God more and more where He wants me and what He wants me to do. I am falling more in love with Jesus. My perspective has shifted so much off of myself and onto the lost and onto Jesus. This may offend some but God has personally shown me that it is not so much about my fruitfullness but its all about intimacy with Jesus. Out of intimacy comes healing for the nations and fruit through Jesus working through me. So phew, it's really just all about Jesus. YWAM stresses this sooooo much, which is wonderful because really looking at bringing the gospel and healing to the lost world appears like a very large task, but if it's all about intimacy with Jesus, out of intimacy comes strategies and blueprints from heaven. It's actually on God's heart to touch the lost more than it is on our hearts, so He knows the best way.

So on another note, I lead worship for my class Friday morning. This would make some people very happy to hear since I have been harassed to do this before. I had so much fun and the Spirit of God came and totally it was awesome. YAY God!

There is a lot going on with my outreach that I cannot really put on the internet but please be in prayer for us. God is opening doors that no man can shut! But we definitely need prayer coverage to get into places and do the things we feel God wants us to do. I also am still raising funds for this portion of the trip. I need another 2500 so if God places it on your heart, you can find my paypal account on this page.

Also pray for my room. God is doing a lot of healing in a lot of people here and I have been praying and counseling a lot of girls here and I love it but I have had some sleepless nights and been getting migraine headaches a lot. Which is not completely uncommon for me but this is an area I want victory in and I believe God wants to heal me! Thankyou so much!

Wednesday, February 8, 2012

Hearing God

This past week we joined up with 2 other schools, the NorthEast Asia school and the Go Asia school for a week with Donna Jordan speaking. She mainly spoke on hearing God. Something pretty fundamental when you have a relationship with God but yet it is still hard to hear God at times. Why is this? Well for me, this week the one thing I mainly discovered about myself is that I rarely repent of my sins! One day in class, I was actually trying to remember the last time I asked for forgiveness, even for the little things. I couldn't remember. I realized through the teachings and through reading the word this week that this is one main hindrance for me to hear the voice of God. Lack of repentance. I think ultimately it has to do with my apathy...sometimes I just don't care. I know that sounds horrible but when you aren't feeling it, it's hard to care. I realized that this is the same as when you are in a love relationship, maybe a husband/wife scenario since I have soooo many examples of that in my life :) Sometimes, you don't feel in love all the time, or even any feelings at all for that person. In fact that person may drive you crazy, but you choose to love in those moments. Usually, your emotions follow your choices. So this past week I chose to repent for things that were buried deep and things at the surface. All around me people were having these deep moments with God. People were weeping all around me, and praying with one another. After I repented though, I was soooo joyful!!! I was smiling and looking all around me so happy!!! This is when the revelation of joyful repentance came. God is not angry, He loves me. He loves you. He joyfully receives me and it's His delight to bless me and forgive me.

So that was last week. I know it seems like I am learning more deeper about Jesus than I am medical stuff and well that's because, I am. How can I take His healing to the nations if I myself cannot carry the heart of Jesus everywhere I go. Mother Theresa spent 4 hours every morning before the cross. People were telling her that she was wasting her time and there were sick children everywhere waiting for her. Her response was that she needed to spend time remembering what Jesus did for her and why she did what she did, otherwise she couldn't go out and face the world as it is.

Some of my classmates, Hailey and Taylor

Learning how to purify water using seeds

This week we are hearing a lot of different opportunities with YWAM. The possibilities are endless. If you are my coworker you should feel confident that I am coming home to KC to rejoin you in June :) I knew what you were thinking. Longterm, I have a lot of dreams in how I want to serve Jesus. I love children...I fully believe Jesus gave me a gift of compassion for the sick children, and I love serving them and their families. I pray for the grace to continue in that in some capacity. Let's just say I'm praying for strategies and plans for my vision to become reality. This week is inspiring me to dream big. God gives us desires, visions, and dreams for a reason! He wants to glorify His Son through us. There a lot of people who took risks and because they trusted God with their vision, they stepped out in faith and God helped make the vision a reality. I want to always walk humbly in the way Jesus leads me.

I definitely am going to China and North Korea for my outreach. This week God confirmed that this was the right decision in 2 ways. I watched a documentary on North Korea because my brother Vinny an my sister Joy and about 10 other people kept telling me about this thing. So, I prayed for the Lord to give me a heart for the nation and a heart of intercession because I honestly felt very removed from the nation's situation seeing as I am an Italian American :) As I watched the documentary, I wept. It wasn't even at the rough parts! I just wept and thought about the pure evil and brainwashing that goes on there. I asked God why I was worthy to go into such as place representing Him. I was reminded of Moses as he was going into Egypt and I had this knowing that He is with me. Then this morning Loren Cunningham randomly spoke to all the schools for an hour and he spoke on the China and Korea. I was totally excited because I asked God to confirm where I was going. If I am going into such a godless place I need to know I'm really supposed to go. So I feel very confident now. I know no matter where I go, God will use me to show His love to His people.